


In her eyes I drown, on her lips I find myself

by Kagetsukai



Category: Dragon Age, Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M, First Kiss, Fluff, Lyrium Withdrawal, Mutual Pining, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-15
Updated: 2017-04-15
Packaged: 2018-10-19 07:54:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10635543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kagetsukai/pseuds/Kagetsukai
Summary: Commander Cullen and Evelyn Trevelyan aren't on best of terms so he is surprised and confused when he finds the Inquisitor in his office late one evening. She has apparently picked his locks. It doesn't help that he's been fighting the onslaught of withdrawal symptoms over the past day and the headache is becoming unbearable. One thing leads to another and suddenly he's faced with a question: does he trust her magic?





	

Cullen’s pain-addled mind had a hard time understanding the situation he had found himself in.

“Wait, let me get this straight.” He closed his eyes and pressed his fingers into the bridge of his nose, unsuccessfully willing the pain to subside. “You broke into my office in the middle of the night, clumsily at that, in order to remove remnants of shellfish Sera decided to hide around the place. Could you not have had a servant do it? Or waited until tomorrow to tell me? Or sent a message?”

He opened his eyes and Inquisitor’s face slowly came into focus. At least she had the decency to look embarrassed about the whole thing, though the slight flush along her cheeks and neck made her look entirely too fetching. Cullen firmly pushed that thought aside and crossed his arms; he was definitely not putting extra space between them, no ser.

“I could have,” she shrugged, briefly glancing at him before letting her gaze drop away. “Let’s just say drinking whiskey with Sera may have influenced my judgement a bit.” She bit a corner of her lower lip and worried it for a moment. Cullen was trying really hard not to be fascinated by the sight. “I thought I could have killed two birds with one stone: nullify Sera’s awful prank and work off some of the nervous energy.”

He narrowed his eyes, not understanding. “Nervous energy? Is everything alright, Inquisitor?”

For the first time since she snuck into his office, Evelyn - _no, the Inquisitor, you dolt_ \- actually met his gaze and gave him a ghost of a smile.

“This may come as a surprise to you, Cullen, but even after all the battles I’ve gone into and places I’ve visited, I still get nervous when I travel to a new area.” She sighed and crossed her arms, mirroring him. “It’s silly, I know. Logically speaking, I understand I will be fine, that I have a group of experienced and battle-ready companions at my side, but I always get antsy the night before we leave. Normally, I’d go to the Undercroft and tinker around with potions but I guess Sera’s silliness wore off on me.”

A sincere, soft smile bloomed on her face and she reached out to place a hand on his vambrace. He immediately regretted not having dressed down for the night, because he would have loved to feel her touch through thin cloth of a tunic instead of the unforgiving metal and leather of his armor. Thankfully, she couldn’t read his thoughts.

“I sincerely apologize for my behavior tonight. It was completely unprofessional and uncalled for.” She let the hand drop to her side and took a step back, as if to leave. “I do suggest hunting down the shellfish, though, first thing in the morning if possible. That stuff smells like death itself when it rots.”

Cullen inclined his head to accept her suggestion, but before he could reply in any way, his vision rapidly unfocused and a stabbing pain shot through his head, settling immediately at the base of his skull. His stomach clenched in response and he doubled over; it took all of his willpower to not collapse onto the floor in front of the Inquisitor. He somehow managed not to retch, but the pain that kept rolling through his body made it impossible to see the woman in front of him.

As if through a thick fog he felt strong, slim hands grasp his shoulder and push him gently towards his desk. It bumped against his thighs and he sat on it heavily, grateful for its solid build. He wanted to tell the Inquisitor to leave him alone so he could ride out his suffering in peace, but he couldn’t get the words out; his tongue felt heavy and useless.

“Oh Cullen. I wish you had told me you were having a withdrawal episode,” she said somewhere in the distance. He vaguely noted her hands were still on his shoulders, keeping him upright. “Damnation, I should have noticed it myself! I’m such a self-absorbed fool.”

He forced his insubordinate tongue to wet his lips. It helped and he was able to formulate words, but they still came out choppy and hoarse, even to his own ears.

“Not… fool… You can… I need to… Just leave me…”

A pair of warm palms grabbed his face in a steel grasp and forced his eyes to focus on the Inquisitor. She glared at him through a fuzzy film that still muddled his vision.

“Maker’s breath! Commander Cullen Rutherford, if you think for one moment that I would leave you here like this, you have something else coming,” she announced and he winced at the volume of her voice. Thankfully, she noticed him flinching and continued rambling in a softer tone.

“You need to lay down immediately and try to get some sleep. Do you need a sleeping potion? I could get you one, if you want. And why are you still wearing your armor? Don’t move, I will try to get this blasted thing off of you. All this weight is definitely putting extra strain on your body. Were you planning on going to bed in it? I mean, I know there are jokes, but I never thought you actually did that.”

He wanted to make a comment, rebuff her in some way, but then her hands deftly grasped his left wrist and went to work on the clasps. Maybe he could enjoy this for a moment?

Not surprisingly, Cullen’s gloves and vambraces came off without much effort since they weren’t attached to the rest of the armor. The pauldrons became an issue almost immediately afterward: she had clearly found the buckles attaching them to the breastplate, but his fur mantle was proving to be a challenging barrier. There was also the cloth vest that successfully hid the fact his midsection was almost completely unarmored at the moment. The Inquisitor didn’t know that, though, and Cullen could feel her hands traveling over his abdomen in search of a clasp to the coat. The touch sent delightful sparks up and down his spine in the now-familiar jolts of pleasure. Before she could tug at his belt and make this even more embarrassing, he placed his hand over hers.

“Please… Don’t worry yourself with this. I’ll be fine,” he said carefully, not sure if the gravel in his voice was from the pain, the exhaustion, or the fact that the Inquisitor was now standing between his thighs. “Besides, it will be faster if I do it myself”

Perhaps he was imagining it, or maybe because he couldn’t see straight, but for a moment it seemed like the Inquisitor was disappointed. She slowly removed her hands from him, though she didn’t stop staring at his face with narrowed eyes. 

“Cullen, your eyes are unfocused, your skin has an unhealthy sheen and, “her hand briefly fell against his jawline, “you are unnaturally warm. You are unwell and you need my help. Please.”

Something in her voice kept nagging at his thoughts. The Inquisitor wanted to do something, but the thoughts just kept churning, and churning, and…

He met her gaze squarely. “Are you asking my permission to use magic?”

Her shapely lips pressed together into an expression that Cullen was familiar with: she always wore it during their arguments about magic and how Cullen felt apprehensive about mages approaching him with any magic at all. He really didn’t want to fight with the Inquisitor, not right now, not when she was this close, concern etched into her lovely face.

“Cullen, please. Let me help you,” she pleaded and again pressed her hands against his forearms.

He did feel warm, but he suspected it had more to do with this amazing woman being next to him than the illness itself. Cullen felt so _exhausted_ and his muddled mind refused to provide any good reason why the Inquisitor shouldn’t alleviate at least some of his discomfort. He sighed in defeat.

“I trust you. Do what you think is best.”

The surprise at his acquiescence was clearly written on her face for the briefest of moments, but then she smiled and released his forearms.

“I know you hate magic. I’ll try to be as unintrusive as I can,” she said quickly, as if he’d rescind his consent. “Just close your eyes first; I’ll be touching various parts of your head and neck and I don’t want to poke your eye out on accident.”

It looked like she was suddenly nervous to touch him and he couldn’t help a little smile. 

“Whatever you need, Inquisitor,” he said and closed his eyes.

Cullen forced himself to relax in anticipation of incoming magic just as she touched his temples. Her fingers were feather-light and soft as they made small circles into his skull. The caress was gentle at first, but soon she was increasing pressure, finding tension and pain as if he had told her exactly where to look. The air shifted a little and he felt a sliver of magic tingle at her fingertips then sink into his skin, soft and gentle and cool.

He refocused his thoughts as her fingers abandoned his temples and carefully moved across his brow, still infusing the trail with tiny touches of magic. She paused briefly at the bridge of his nose and shifted her fingers to his cheeks bones, pressing softly along the eye socket. Cullen had never thought to massage there, but the gentle pressure combined with whispers of healing magic were doing wonders for his headache.

Once she reached the top of his jaw, though, a huff of annoyance left her lips.

“Cullen, you really should stop clenching your jaw so much. It’s why you’re getting so many headaches.”

He wanted to disagree with that assessment, make a witty comeback of some sort, but his brain would not cooperate. Her soft voice sent delicious shivers down his body while her fingers pressed into his jaw joint, releasing the tension there. It successfully blanked his mind, and he didn’t care. It was wonderful and he didn’t want her to stop.

When her touch shifted to the top of his scalp, he stopped breathing for the shortest of moments. He no longer focused on the small amounts of magic she kept pouring into his body, but on the feeling of her warm fingers slowly carding through his hair in small circles. She was gentle, and firm, and the way she cradled his head it was impossible to focus on anything but her warmth and her scent. Cullen slowed and deepened his breathing in a way he had learned during his Templar training; he could feel a moan bubbling up with each movement of her hands and he could not allow it to surface. 

“And now, one more push…” she breathed, and Cullen felt a surge of magic flow from her hands at the base of his skull, down his back, and spread through his body. His shoulders relaxed significantly and even his stomach settled into a much more pleasant state.

Cullen felt dizzy again, drunk even, from the sensations he felt. His body no longer spasmed with pain, but instead his relaxed senses were acutely aware of _her_. Her scent - something soft and floral and delicate - assaulted his nose and he couldn’t help but inhale deeply. He slowly opened his eyes and the first thing he saw were her lips, plump, dewy lips that softly called to him to be sampled. He leaned in and up just a little and he found out they tasted just as good as they looked.

Something screamed within his mind and suddenly Cullen’s world came to a screeching halt. He launched himself as far back from the Inquisitor as the desk would allow, trying to put as much space between them as possible. His mind worked in overtime, thinking up all sorts of scenarios and repercussions of what he had just done. This would be the last straw, for sure, the last thing to convince the Inquisitor that he had lost his mind and he should be removed from his post. His wide eyes met hers and he felt words formulating on his lips.

“I am so sorry, I--”

He didn’t get to finish his apology because her fingers were back in his hair, gripping firmly, forcing his face to tilt back. Then her mouth was on his again. 

While his kiss had been barely a caress on her lips, a whisper of a touch, hers was a thing of needy desire and an unleashed enthusiasm. She molded her whole body against his and for the nth time that night he cursed the fact he was _still_ in his Maker-forsaken armor. His hands moved, as if on their own, to circle around her waist and press her to him, always wanting more. He kissed her with wild abandon, desperate to convey everything he had ever felt for her in every nip of his teeth and every swipe of his tongue across swollen lips.

An eternity later his traitorous lungs forced him to part from her. He rested his forehead against hers, eyes closed, breathing hard, feeling both terrified and excited about what had just happened. Surely, they would have to talk about it?

“Rule number one: never apologize for kissing me.” Her voice had this breathy, raspy quality to it and he desperately wanted to claim her mouth again. “Especially if you keep kissing me like _that_.”

A chuckle rolled out of his mouth as he finally opened his eyes and leaned back to look at the Inquisitor, _Evelyn_. Her lips were red and bruised by his attentions, her cheeks pleasantly flushed, and her eyes danced with an emotion he could only call happiness. She looked more beautiful than ever and his heart danced with glee; he had kissed her and she had kissed him back.

Cullen, his tongue heavy with desire, awkwardly cleared his throat.

“I-- umm-- I am not complaining, don’t get me wrong, but,” he furrowed his eyebrows for a moment, “I was under the impression you hated my guts.”

Evelyn threw her head back with a quick giggle.

“No, Cullen, I don’t hate your guts,” she crooned. One of her hands dropped from his hair and gently cupped his jaw. Her face shifted into the sweetest smile he had ever seen her make. “I may have said some horrible things back in Haven, when I was angry and lonely. I kept lashing out at you because it was easy. And you just took it.” She looked away, ashamed. “If I could take away all the words I said to you back then, I would. You didn’t deserve any of it.”

Cullen did kiss her then, slowly, purposefully, to let her know that whatever had happened in the past was alright to leave behind. At least here and now he wanted to forget all of the burdens of the world and enjoy the feel of her in his arms. With renewed verve, he quested out with his tongue and she opened to him with a satisfied sigh. A moan rumbled deep in his chest, answered by a needy whine in her throat. It was becoming difficult to think while her fingernails dug into his scalp causing the most delicious echos of pleasure-pain. 

He wanted more, so he gingerly let go of her waist, stood from the desk, and deftly changed the direction of their kiss. It felt glorious. Another moan crawled up her throat when he pressed down into her, fevered _want_ overtaking his mind. He reached around her shoulders with one hand and cupped her jaw with the other; Evelyn felt so soft under his touch, so willing, so pliant. The new sensations were so dizzying he felt like he was falling into the abyss.

She abruptly broke their kiss. 

“Cullen!” he heard her exclaim and he crashed to the floor.

It hurt, though he had to admit it could have been worse. The room kept spinning and he realized it wasn’t just Evelyn’s kisses that made the world tilt. Perhaps having the pain magically removed had helped only temporarily, or maybe the fact he hadn’t been able to eat anything for over a day was finally taking its toll. Either way, he was splayed on the floor and the armor was digging into places it didn’t belong.

He looked up straight into Evelyn’s worried eyes.

“Are you alright?” she asked quietly.

“I think my pride is wounded more than my body, I’m afraid,” he chuckled and reached for the edge of the desk. Hoisting himself upright took a lot more effort than he anticipated and he was soon covered in a thin layer of sweat. He knew he would have to lay down soon or he would not get rest that night; a slight pressure at the base of his skull was already announcing the return of another headache.

“Cullen, seriously this time, can I convince you to get some sleep?” she asked him and he could not help but smile. 

“It is difficult to think of sleep when I have you here, when I can finally kiss you,” he said and traced the shape of her cheek with his palm. Her eyes drooped just a little and her lips broke into a soft smile. She shifted just a little and placed a soft kiss onto his hand.

“What if I stay with you until you fall asleep?” she suggested and her cheeks darkened a lovely shade of pink. “If that’s okay with you, that is.”

It was an innocent question, meant as an offer to help him rest, but his traitor brain immediately provided a slew of suggestions of what Cullen could be doing with Evelyn in his private quarters. It took some effort, but he shoved all of these inappropriate thoughts aside, hoping his face didn’t betray them. This woman was willing to keep him company through his weakness and he would not sully the moment by thinking with his base instincts.

“I do not wish to impose on you, but,” he reached for her left hand and kissed her knuckles, making sure he kept his eyes trained on hers at all times, “I will gladly accept whatever company you wish to give.”

Evelyn smiled at him again, a bright, content smile, and leaned in to plant a brief kiss. Cullen loved the way her lips tasted and he briefly wondered how he had managed without them so long.

“You have only to ask, Cullen,” she said, then looked down at his chest. “Now, if only I could convince you take off this blasted armor…”

The laughter that ripped out of his mouth rang loud and true in the nighttime air, echoed by Evelyn’s smaller but equally amused giggle. He reached for his belt, unclasped it and set it aside. Perhaps he should show her how all the pieces come together, for future reference. In case he fell ill around her again. Right.

 

Sometime later, as he laid in his bed, eyes closed and drowsy, he couldn’t help but thank the Maker for how this night had turned out. He had been expecting long hours full of terror, nightmare, and pain, but instead, he got peace and contentment. Evelyn sat at the edge of his bed, her back against the headboard, one of her legs leisurely stretched out next to Cullen. At some point, he had rested his hand on her knee and she never pulled away from the contact. Her hand idly ran through his hair; she wasn’t using magic, but her gentle fingers were putting him to sleep either way. It felt like the most serene dream.

“Is this real?” he asked softly.

“Yes. I am here, Cullen.”

“You are leaving in the morning, though.”

“And I will be back in three week. Less if I can help it.”

He smiled at the quiet ferocity of her statement. His traitor mind would not be pacified, though.

“Will you still want to be like this?”

Evelyn stopped moving her hand and, after several heart beats, she shifted off the bed. He felt her absence with surprising acuity and a quiet whine of disappointment left his throat before he could stop it. As he was about to say something else, he felt a feather-soft kiss on his nose, then his cheek, his jaw, and finally his lips. It was a whisper, a promise, and he instantly felt better.

“I will always want you, like this and more,” she breathed out. “Now sleep, you infuriating man. You are exhausted.”

As his mind slipped into slumber, all he could think of was her beautiful hazel eyes, watching over him. Keeping him safe.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!!!
> 
> This story came about because I was planning a much longer story about a really confrontational mage Trevelyan. I was trying to figure out how she and Cullen would get together and I somehow got fixated on how lush and thick Cullen's hair would feel to the touch. There may have been a sensory prompt list involved as well. It was supposed to be a drabble, too. I regret nothing.
> 
> Comments/kudos are much appreciated. If you want to flail at me on Tumblr, I'm at kagetsukai.tumblr.com


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